Self-hypnosis is complete rubbish. Let’s be realistic, when was the last time it added confidence? Did it help to lose weight? Promote a job? No options - NEVER. Of course, there are a lot of "experts" around who are selling this hackneyed move: just say 50 times, "I am incomparable, beautiful and can achieve everything," and you will immediately become confident in yourself as president. It works? No. So, let's talk about methods that really help people gain self-confidence.
Before we plunge headlong into the formation of true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what constitutes confidence.
Confidence is knowing that what you own will subsequently become what you want and make you happier. This is a necessary condition for an idea to become an action.
Statistics confirm that success is more associated with confidence than with competence. So, here are five steps to self-confidence.
1. Pretend to be Confident
No matter how strange it may sound, but in order to learn to be truly confident in yourself, you can first simulate confidence. In the wild, some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend you too.
Self-hypnosis does not work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects are not consistent with each other, the brain goes out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear, due to which all self-confidence disappears. So how do we be?
Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of the mirror (pay attention to the tone of your voice, and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain "sufficient reason" to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear by itself.
2. Do not forget that you expect more from yourself than others from you
The good news is: the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God no one can read your mind, know about fears and anxieties.
The bad news: you can misinterpret any oblique look, any random word, any reaction of people to their actions, and then worry about this (made up by you) reason.
In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (do not be scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to do self-hypnosis). Carry out a small experiment: during one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you lack self-confidence.
In addition, it is useful to record and keep on hand a list of your achievements, experience gained, events that made you feel significant, confident, and understand that your actions are beneficial.
Every time your inner voice gets out of control, take a three-minute break, pick up a list and remind yourself how good you can be. Show material evidence to your brain when you need extra confidence.
3. Monitor your physical condition
I understand this is a cliche - to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliche did not appear from scratch. Have you ever wondered why, without exception, all successful leaders regularly play sports? If you process, eat fast food, sleep little and lead a mostly sedentary lifestyle, it becomes more difficult to demonstrate the best version of yourself to the world.
You don’t need to train a few hours a day until you drop: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing stairs to the 10th floor may be enough to produce endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual way of life, gradually get used to them.
Difficulties and, accordingly, stress should be added to your life in very small portions. It is necessary to circle yourself around the finger so that both physical and mental health are in balance.
4. Increase returns, change your internal dialogue
Do you know why the communication skills of most people leave much to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their disposition, they think about how to avoid stupidity and what is so clever to say next. The main reason for this behavior: they are poorly prepared.
It is almost impossible to be truly confident in yourself if you are not prepared enough to show your best side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What is stopping them? How can you help them?
This method should be used to promote your services or if you want to impress at any event.
Take time to learn about the topic and your audience. Each hour spent in this lesson will bring a disproportionately large result. And what happens when you get a positive response? You have already guessed - you will gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.
5. Make mistakes quickly, make mistakes often
A terrifying word that paralyzes even outstanding people and prevents them from succeeding is failure. Especially it does not give rest to those who are by nature a perfectionist and chronically afraid to do something wrong.
But failures do happen in our lives, it's just inevitable. In fact, if you are not mistaken, then do not learn anything new. Often recall the statement of Ramit Seti: "This is not a failure - this is a test."
You just verify that this will not work. And when you find out, you can move on and find the paths that will lead to the desired result.
And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another “failure”, you realize that you don’t feel empty. Indeed, it is such an experience that helps you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.
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